The Art of Living

THE ART OF LIVING =========== The results of your bad habits usually don't show up until much later in life. When you develop a chronic bad habit, life will eventually give you consequences. Here is what you need to really understand: Life will eventually give you consequences of your actions -whether positive or negative. Whether you like it or not is not the issue. The fact is, if you keep on doing things a certain way you will always get a predictable result. Know that negative habits breed negative consequences. Successful or positive habits create positive rewards. That's just the way life is! The Holy book says, "whatever a man sow, that he will reap(Galatians 6:7). Shalom!

SHOULD A MAN BE INTIMIDATED BY HIS WIFE'S SUCCESS?

From my own Christian perspective, I believe that men who are intimidated by their wife, being richer or having a higher educational or career profile than them lack understanding and are very short-sighted and ignorant of modern day reality. They are equally ignorant of what Christian marriage entails. Let us go through the scripture. In Genesis 2:18,”And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” When a man finds a good wife, he obtains favour of the Lord and the woman he finds becomes his helpmate, companion, confidant, partner, and adviser. This makes a woman indispensable partner in progress for the man. Therefore, whatever a woman has is to be used to help her husband, to ensure that the home is peaceful, joyful, healthy and devoid of acrimony. In African tradition, a man is supposed to meet the needs of the family and his wife. And they also believe that a woman must not contribute to the running of the home. This is erroneous! But civilization and economic reality has changed this notion. In a situation where a man cannot foot the bill of the family by virtue of his lean resources and the wife is in the position to complement his effort, she should not withhold it, because they are partners in progress. She should offer the husband help. Except a home where there is no God, love, respect, humility and submission, whatever a woman has belongs to her husband and vice versa. If God makes the woman to be richer than the man, the woman should not allow that to go into her head, by stepping on the husband. Her husband is still the head, whom all she has must be credited to. In Genesis 2: 24;”Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh.” When a man or woman marries his/her bone and not another man’s/woman’s bone, there will be no wall of differences between them. Not even money or position or career should create a gulf between them. Their language changes from “I” to “we”; “mine” to “us”. It is not uncommon to see a man buys a property in the name of the wife or wife buys a property in the name of the husband, because they have common ownership of all things in the marriage. To the man who is feeling intimidated, who is not praying for the wife to be richer than him or progress career-wise than him, its ignorance and lack of understanding of life issues. Statistics shows that the life expectancy of men is shorter than women. This means, women have been found out to succeed their husband in death. So, if you don’t empower your wife when you are gone, how will she cope with the children? A man who knows his onions should strive to make sure he empowers the wife, while still alive. When you marry a woman who is your soul-mate, by the leading of God, no matter her level of success in life, she will remain humble, obedient and submissive to the husband. Although there exceptions to that. Some women because of peer group influence and exposure to society tends to misbehave when they are highly paid than the husband. They don’t have time for the husband. They can’t cool again for the husband. They don’t respect their husband again, simply because they are the one footing the bill of the house. In Ephesians 5: 21-25; “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” From this passage, the husband and wife are admonished to submit to one another in love. They must put everything they have on the table. There must be openness. Also the wife is admonished to submit to the husband in everything (including her money).I read of a woman who was earning three times her husband salary. Every month, she will bring her salary to her husband after she has removed her tithe. The husband will pray for her and asked her to go and save it. She has honoured her husband with that virtue. Why won’t the husband heart bless her? Whatever a woman has, she must submit to the husband if she truly is a Christian and the husband is equally admonished to love the wife in return. If Christian husbands and wives practice what is in the above passage, there will not be any reason for the man to feel intimidated by his wife’s success. There will be peace and love in their home. Rather the man should thank God for giving him a worthy and resourceful woman. The African mentality that a wife must not be richer than the husband should be erased, because they are one and whatever they have belongs to both of them. What God has joined together, let no money, position, career, education put asunder. Thank you. Ayelehin Femi Abuja

NIGERIA: A NATION IN SOCIO-ECONOMIC AND POLITICAL QUAGMIRE!

According to Warren G. Bennis, “Leadership is the ability to translate vision into reality.” Nigeria from independence to date has not been blessed with such a leader who is selfless, visionary, and sacrificial, who can translate the dream of our founding fathers and nationalists into reality- the dream of an indivisible, united, peaceful and prosperous nation. This explains the current situation we have in Nigeria, where a nation of about 180million people, that is about 56years old, with abundant human and natural resources, cannot feed itself nor provide job for its teeming unemployed youths, talk less of generating adequate power for its industrialization. This is despite the huge trillions of naira that had been sunk into the sector, without any meaningful result. Simon Sinek aptly describes the type of leaders that have presided over the affairs of Nigeria to date, when he said, “The bad leaders are the ones that push hard so they can gain, who brow beat us so that they can receive the benefits of our hard work, not so we can enjoy the success.” The unbridled craze of our leaders to acquire wealth and amass our collective commonwealth to themselves and stashing their stolen loots abroad-oiling the recipient countries’ economy- led us to where we are today. Anyway, that is a topic for another day. To say that we are presently in a state of confusion, anomie and quagmire is to underplay the enormity of the current hardship plaguing the country, of which the common man is the worst hit. The country is heading towards a disaster if something urgent- humanly and divinely -is not done. Let me point out clearly, that, this discourse is not borne out of ethnic, political or religious sentiments, but propelled by the spirit of patriotism of a concerned mind, that follows events in the country and is guaranteed under the Constitution to freely air his view on any issue affecting the nation, without any fear of molestation. It is no longer news, that, Nigeria is in a recession. Times are very hard and the negative economic realities are biting harder on the common man, including yours sincerely. Ordinary common staple food is no longer affordable by the masses. Stories are being told daily of some people doing some unimaginable and dehumanizing things to survive the economic plague. We hear of people stealing pots of soup on fire. We hear of a mother of three, who went to give one daughter in exchange for food for the remaining two, to save a soul! Our present situation in Nigeria is creating more beggars, destitute, thieves, prostitutes, criminals, kidnappers, militants, and hopeless citizens! The hope they have in their leaders for succor, is waning gradually! If we are to be honest with ourselves, it is not the time to play the blame game, but for all stakeholders in the Nigerian project, to collectively put heads together on how we can quickly get out of the debacle. Generally, there is a global economic recession, with most countries experiencing an all-time reduction in their GDP, with manufacturing industries experiencing marginal reduction in their capacity utilization, and revenue. This has resulted is severe job losses across the globe-Nigeria not an exception. Suffice to say that our own economic recession was self-inflicted. We could have been shielded from the global economic recession, if we had managed our receipts from oil resources very well, by plowing it back into other revenue generating sectors, like agriculture, mining, etc. We are feeling the heat more now because of our monolithic economy which is about 90% dominated by oil. All our leaders abandoned other productive sectors and were fighting over oil, allocating oil blocks to their families and cronies. It was even alleged that an ordinary official hair dresser of one of the former leaders’ wife was awarded an oil bloc in the Niger Delta! Because we were making quick petrodollars, we all became lazy, living profligate and wasteful life, like the prodigal son in the Bible. Now that the petrodollars in no longer flowing in, we have come back to our senses. This reality has made the present government to diversify the economy by concentrating more on Mining and Agriculture. This is commendable. I submit that the present woes of Nigeria is inflicted on us by all our past leaders (from independence), who lived like King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon. They wasted our resources by living luxuriously and ostentatiously, when indeed, majority of Nigerians cannot feed three times a day. One of our past leaders in this country was once quoted to have said, that, our problem in Nigeria was not how to make money, but how to spend it! This statement, if true, smacks of a leader who was visionless, blind, shallow-minded, and lacked the developmental understanding of backward integration. We became the Father Christmas of Africa! When our leaders didn’t know what to do with our overflowing milk and honey, they invited every country in Africa to come and showcase their filthy gods, all in the name of Festival of Arts and Culture (FESTAC 77), which we hosted. This seemingly harmless cultural event polluted our land. That was the beginning of God’s anger with Nigeria. Since then, Nigeria has not gotten it right, either politically or economically! Let’s go back to the main issue of this topic. Nigeria has adopted many economic models and fiscal policies, either cooked or seasoned by reputable world financial institutions, like the IMF, World Bank, AfDB, etc., none has ever worked. Rather than solve our problems, they inflicted more pain on Nigerians. But surprisingly, such economic models work in other countries! It’s pointless asking why they failed in Nigeria. The usual Nigerian factor was the culprit. If every known economic theory, models and policies have failed to rescue us from our economic woes (which is self-inflicted), it high time we switched over to GODONOMICS! This is the best and never-failing economic models in the world. There is no doubt that Nigeria is a nation so specially blessed by God. A nation, that God specially designed, to be the leader of the black race. We have abundant human and natural resources to rule the world. But where are we today? Those nations we were better than in the 70’s have overtaken and left us behind! We used to be number one exporter of Cocoa, Tin, Coal, Palm oil, Rubber etc in Africa-if not the world. Even the oil that we dominated as Africa’s largest exporter, we have lost the position to Angola! Our problem from my own spiritual diagnosis is that we are a nation that is busy running after the RESOURCES (oil wealth, etc), but has forgotten the SOURCE(God). There no nation that forgets God without paying dearly for it. When the Israelites forgot God, they suffered for it and God made them to go into captivity, hunger, famine, pestilence, deaths, wars, etc., just like we are experiencing in Nigeria today! Until they came to their senses and realized they have gone astray, they came back to God and God restored them. We are witnesses to how powerful and wealthy the nation of Israel is today, a tiny desert country, that is not up to the population or size of the smallest state in Nigeria. They have turned their desert land into a land flowing with milk and honey, with purposeful, visionary, and selfless leadership. They became the envy of other countries. Even the powerful USA, fears and respects Israel because of her military capability. Israel sells weapon technology to USA today and that’s why they are a world power. It sometimes bleeds my heart, how we run our affairs in this country, as if there is no God! Some leaders have even arrogated the power of God to themselves, by determining what will happen in the next 50years to come, as if they have power to keep themselves till that time! It is disheartening that some of our leaders, after intoxicating themselves with their whisky, cognac, or wine display such annoying arrogance of ignorance and mentality of negativity. They claim to know it all, whereas, they are blind and empty-headed, yet they resent positive criticism and they see any other opposing views or opinions as worthless. They are not humble with power and they lack the servant-leader’s mind. We are a nation that forgets our source (God), and I perceive from my spiritual understanding of the mind and the word of God, that God is angry with us in Nigeria. That is why He has shut the heaven against us, in order to punish us for our recklessness, wastefulness, and wickedness! When the nation of Israel sinned against God, God gave them a leader who tormented them, until they realized that their dependency and sufficiency is of God. God is a custodian of all human and natural resources. He hates the habit of wastage-either of human lives or material resources-which unfortunately is our trademark in Nigeria!. God is angry with us because we are a nation full of all kinds of wickedness, violence, hatred, inhumanity, bloodshed, abominations and every kind of ungodly act! I once had a dream about Nigeria, which terrified me. But I prayed to God not to allow the dream come true, otherwise Nigeria will be history. We need to go back to God and adopt the divine economic model of GODONOMICS-where we put God first in everything that we do and seek his divine direction, because without God, we can do nothing, either as a leader or a nation. When a nation forgets God, when God shuts the heaven against a nation, no amount of economic policies or models can work without the help of God, because He rules in the affairs (including economic) of men and nations. In rounding up this discourse, let’s relate Nigeria situation with the scripture. The solution to Nigeria’s woes is in the world of God. In the book of Jeremiah 18:7-10(NIV), “ If at any time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be uprooted, torn down and destroyed, and if that nation I warned repents of its evil, then I will relent and not inflict on it the disaster I had planned. And if at another time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be built up and planted, and if it does evil in my sight and does not obey me, then I will reconsider the good I had intended to do for it. “ From the passage above; Are we not experiencing these disasters because we choose to follow our own heart and despise God? Are we not a nation that is doing evil in the sight of God? Is God not relenting in bringing the good things that He promised to benefit us because, we have become stiff-necked, and rebellious, by following our own destructive ways as a nation, thinking we are wiser than God? But God is a merciful God and also forgiving. He can still restore Nigeria back to take its rightful place as leader of the black race, where there will be peace and tranquility, wealth and prosperity. Nigeria can still flourish again. Yes, I believe! WE CAN! WE WILL! But we must collectively ask God for forgiveness of the sins, errors, and mistakes of our past and present leaders, and also the followers, irrespective of your religious and ethnic affiliations. We all have a stake in the Project Nigeria. Collectively we can salvage Nigeria. God will abundantly pardon and make all things beautiful again. In conclusion, according to 2 Chronicles 7:14; “ if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land “. God will heal our land. Nigeria will RISE again! Hope is not lost. God bless Nigeria! Written by Femi Ayelehin

WHAT FIRES YOUR ENTHUSIASM?

Everyone’s life; is driven by something.
What drives you is whatever you allow to guide and control your life.

There are several things that people allow to drive there life where are:

Guilt: They dwell on all the sins they have committed. Both the ones they committed consciously and the ones they were compelled to. In fact, they dwell more on the one they were compelled to and there after finds it very difficult to forgive themselves and others.

Anger and Unforgiveness: Many people dwell on anger and unforgiveness, I agree with you, that you have been hurt and in fact people will continue to do so as long as you are still on this planet. But it begins to drive your life when you continually dwell in it, you allow yourself to be distracted and you gradually with your own hands, remove yourself from all that God have prepared for you.
Many people use words like

I can’t let go of this hurt,
I can’t forgive this fellow.
The truth is that the more you keep those hurt in your heart the more you are pulling yourself out from what God has plan for you.

You have to realize that your past is past and there is nothing you can do about it and I am so glad that you still have the opportunity to change your tomorrow no matter how your yesterday and today has been.

PEOPLE’S APPOVAL: These set of people seek the approval from parents, spouse, teachers, friends, siblings and children if possible. They won’t take a step on their own; they expect people to tell them how to live their life.
You have to look and think beyond getting people’s approval, because God created you for a purpose and you have to fulfil it. The truth is that on the day of Judgment, God will ask you what you did with what He gave you and how you lived your life and I believe you won’t tell God that your brother or sister stopped you.

Dreams and Eternity: some people are driven by their dreams, they have in their heart they have planned how they want their life to be, or they think of is how they can make do it better, they think of the next step to take, to enable them come out with excellent result.
Some are driven by eternity, they watch what they say, do, wear, stay, go and how to live their daily life knowing that life here in earth is temporary.

BENEFITS:
When your life is driven by focus, it will give your daily life a meaning because you will wake up with so much joy in your heart knowing that you are going somewhere.

It won’t allow others to come in and dictate how to live your life. you won’t have to wait for someone to tell you move before you take a step.

It will motivate you; it will help you push forward; it will encourage you even when it seem as if your dreams are turning to nightmares, it will help you stay on the way and keep your hope in God when everyone around you have turned their back on you it will help you do more than your best and it will give you the boldness to declare to yourself that anywhere above the sky is your limit.

IT COULD ONLY BE WORSE…..BUT THERE IS NO ZERO SITUATION IN LIFE!!

If I could turn back the hands of the clock, one course I would study is Philosophy; this is because I like to be both spiritual and philosophical about life and events. Indeed year 2017 is gradually ebbing away as we have climbed the third ladder of the year, the month of March. And if I may ask, how many of the dreams and New Year resolutions are you pursuing to logical conclusion? Have you been able to achieve any of them? Or what steps are you putting in place to ensure they are realized? Including me, how many of my dreams have I realized so far? The answer may be difficult to provide due to some explainable or unexplainable reasons. Obviously some of us may ascribe our inability to have achieved any of our dreams to the current economic reality in the country-the biting effect of recession. Some of the explainable reasons could be that you have not been proactive and working towards realizing those dreams. May be you are a procrastinator who postpones what should be done today till tomorrow. Well, it does not matter where you have been, but what I know is that there is a destiny that you are created to fulfill. So, what is your own problem? Is it that you want to become a millionaire, a business owners, a mother or father, married or looking for a life partner and all seemed not to be working in your favour? Are you failing in virtually all aspect of life? Don’t worry! By the time you hear the story other people who had many failures, disappointments, trials, sorrows and loses, and succeeded eventually, you will know that in life there is no "Zero' situation the ultimate nothingness. Your situation can be described as "worse" but you will always have something to rejoice over. If you are looking for a Spanish shoes to buy and you could not, remember that some do not even have legs at all. The list of your problems may be endless. Your problem will not remain constant; it’s just a matter of time, it will fade away if you do not fade in your faith and determination. A man of determination overcomes any examination. Know that there is nothing constant in life, except change itself. The Holy Bible says, though weeping may endure till the night but surely joy will come in the morning (Psalm 30:5). That means every problem has an expiry date. According to John Grey, "there is no hopeless situation, except only people who are hopeless about situation." Your situation may look hopeless, relax, take a recourse in God through Jesus Christ who said "cast all your worries, anxieties, pains on Him because He cares for you." One of the greatest philosopher and motivational speaker, Robbert Schuler says "Tough times do not last but tough people do." Your situation cannot be tougher than God to handle. Another philosopher says “love a man who can laugh in the days of trouble, because he has triumphed." Your disposition to a problem determines the solution to that problem. Radical situation requires radical solution. Therefore, look at the brighter side of life and be tough with the situation and you will see that it will fade away. And most importantly run to God through prayer who can solve that problem for you. Whatever you are passing through is an examination that will show the real man or woman in you. It is a process that leads to promotion as no student is promoted to the next class without passing the previous class. The beauty of raw gold cannot come out except it passes through the furnace where it is refined to become a precious and beautiful gem. So every problem in your life is meant to take you to the next level that God intended for you. Even if you have tried and failed try again and again. Quitters will never win except lose. According to Bern Williams, "if we try and fail, we have temporary disappointments, but if we don’t try after failing again, we have permanent regrets." Don’t carry your problems to heart because the longer a problem is carried to heart, the heavier it gets. Whenever you failed or have disappointments, forget about it , erase it from your mind and move on. Sometimes our problem is that we don’t want to forget our past failures. In his best-selling book, Harold Heifer wrote and I quote, "There is nothing we can do about the past but the biggest sorrow is, we can miss the present by fretting too much about the future." Don’t live in the past. Forget past mistakes. Yesterday is a cancelled cheque, today is cash and tomorrow is a promissory note. What lies ahead of us is greater than what lies behind us. Look into the future with hope. The Holy Bible say forget the former things. The enemy of the new is the old. The enemy of today is yesterday and the enemy of tomorrow is today. The type of decision you take today has a great consequence on your tomorrow whether good or bad. So dream big positive dreams. And follow it up with prayer and you shall surely laugh on day. Above all be very positive in your thinking. As a man thinks in his heart so he is. Believe also in yourself, have confidence in your ability. If you don’t believe in yourself, who will believe in you? Remember that success comes in CANs and failure comes in CANTs. When you have the I-CAN-DO-IT spirit, you can conquer all mountains and obstacles on your way. The bright future ahead of you is greater than the disappointments or failures behind you. BY AYELEHIN FEMI

Be Thankful For The Little U Have

PSALM 107:1 NKJ
"Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy
endures forever".

It seems the more people have the less thankful they become.
Today complaints are abundant, but thank you's are few.

COLOSSIANS 3:15 NKJ
15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also
you were called in one body; and be thankful.

Being thankful is not a choice for a Christian. If it was
impossible, God would not have told us to do it.

So, why are people not thankful?

Gratitude is a mark of maturity. Ingratitude is a mark of
immaturity. Babies are never thankful.

Neither are proud people thankful. Why? Because their mindset
is that they deserve not just everything they have, but even
better. "Why be thankful for something less than what you
deserve?" describes their thinking.

A funny thing you will notice if you consider it: unthankful
people are never happy. In fact, the more thankful a person is,
the happier they are.

(This is an example of how acting on God's Word is for our
benefit. God didn't invent commands just to be bossy.)

You will not be bothered with depression if you act on the
Word of God and "be thankful." The cure for unhappiness is
being thankful. Try it.

But how can you overcome the bad habit of ingratitude? Only by
changing your core beliefs. As long as you believe you are
getting a raw deal, or less than you deserve, you will never
become a thankful person.

But if you realize that you deserved punishment and eternal
separation from God -- yet in His mercy God instead gave you
what He deserved, and EVERYTHING you have -- including every
breath you breathe -- is a gift -- then you will become a
thankful person.

SAY THIS: I give thanks to the Lord for He is good, and His
mercy endures forever. I will be thankful for all God does for
me.
(From The Holy Bible)

Hebrews 13:8: Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever

Overcoming Inertia In The Pursuit Of Your Goals.

Is it just me or time really flies, it's already February 3rd ,one month is gone in the year.

Most people are still warming up to go, but , there is something called the power of inertia the end of the year brings.

Inertia is the tendency of a body to maintain its state of rest or uniform motion unless acted upon by an external force.

Big definition for a simple concept.

Long and short of what this means is, if you slow down in December at the end of the year, it becomes more difficult for everybody to get going in January and a simple way to check if this is real to you or not is to ask yourself these questions

1. What specific goals did you set in January?
2. What specific activities did you set to accomplish these goals?
3. How much of your goals were yet to be achieved
4. How many of your activity goals were yet to be done?

Just in case inertia has taken over, I came as a good external force to hopefully jolt you back into motion.

1. Identify one thing you need to start doing, stop doing, do more of, do less of. To get you back in motion and get you to achieve your goal.

2. Set a specific goal to at least one thing you want to accomplish this month. Preferably an accomplishing goal and not just an acquiring goal.

3. Once you set your goals ,set specific activities that will help you to accomplish your goal. They must be specific and actionable activity.

Most important thing is to make sure that your goals are divided into four weeks of accomplishment, so this includes what must you accomplish this week, the second week, the third week and the fourth week to ensure that by the last week you have accomplished your goals?

If you will like to share your goals with me, send me your goal for the month, week one, two, three and four.

Sharing with someone makes you feel accountable, and as you accomplish each one of them tell me, and if you do not get to, still let me know.

I'll be looking forward to hearing from you.