SHOULD A MAN BE INTIMIDATED BY HIS WIFE'S SUCCESS?

From my own Christian perspective, I believe that men who are intimidated by their wife, being richer or having a higher educational or career profile than them lack understanding and are very short-sighted and ignorant of modern day reality. They are equally ignorant of what Christian marriage entails. Let us go through the scripture. In Genesis 2:18,”And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” When a man finds a good wife, he obtains favour of the Lord and the woman he finds becomes his helpmate, companion, confidant, partner, and adviser. This makes a woman indispensable partner in progress for the man. Therefore, whatever a woman has is to be used to help her husband, to ensure that the home is peaceful, joyful, healthy and devoid of acrimony. In African tradition, a man is supposed to meet the needs of the family and his wife. And they also believe that a woman must not contribute to the running of the home. This is erroneous! But civilization and economic reality has changed this notion. In a situation where a man cannot foot the bill of the family by virtue of his lean resources and the wife is in the position to complement his effort, she should not withhold it, because they are partners in progress. She should offer the husband help. Except a home where there is no God, love, respect, humility and submission, whatever a woman has belongs to her husband and vice versa. If God makes the woman to be richer than the man, the woman should not allow that to go into her head, by stepping on the husband. Her husband is still the head, whom all she has must be credited to. In Genesis 2: 24;”Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh.” When a man or woman marries his/her bone and not another man’s/woman’s bone, there will be no wall of differences between them. Not even money or position or career should create a gulf between them. Their language changes from “I” to “we”; “mine” to “us”. It is not uncommon to see a man buys a property in the name of the wife or wife buys a property in the name of the husband, because they have common ownership of all things in the marriage. To the man who is feeling intimidated, who is not praying for the wife to be richer than him or progress career-wise than him, its ignorance and lack of understanding of life issues. Statistics shows that the life expectancy of men is shorter than women. This means, women have been found out to succeed their husband in death. So, if you don’t empower your wife when you are gone, how will she cope with the children? A man who knows his onions should strive to make sure he empowers the wife, while still alive. When you marry a woman who is your soul-mate, by the leading of God, no matter her level of success in life, she will remain humble, obedient and submissive to the husband. Although there exceptions to that. Some women because of peer group influence and exposure to society tends to misbehave when they are highly paid than the husband. They don’t have time for the husband. They can’t cool again for the husband. They don’t respect their husband again, simply because they are the one footing the bill of the house. In Ephesians 5: 21-25; “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” From this passage, the husband and wife are admonished to submit to one another in love. They must put everything they have on the table. There must be openness. Also the wife is admonished to submit to the husband in everything (including her money).I read of a woman who was earning three times her husband salary. Every month, she will bring her salary to her husband after she has removed her tithe. The husband will pray for her and asked her to go and save it. She has honoured her husband with that virtue. Why won’t the husband heart bless her? Whatever a woman has, she must submit to the husband if she truly is a Christian and the husband is equally admonished to love the wife in return. If Christian husbands and wives practice what is in the above passage, there will not be any reason for the man to feel intimidated by his wife’s success. There will be peace and love in their home. Rather the man should thank God for giving him a worthy and resourceful woman. The African mentality that a wife must not be richer than the husband should be erased, because they are one and whatever they have belongs to both of them. What God has joined together, let no money, position, career, education put asunder. Thank you. Ayelehin Femi Abuja